1 00:00:03,769 --> 00:00:06,504 - I'm just saying, Milk does the booty good. 2 00:00:06,506 --> 00:00:09,407 - Really? 'Cause I got a good booty. 3 00:00:09,409 --> 00:00:12,410 Oh, a drone. - What the fuck? 4 00:00:12,412 --> 00:00:14,845 I was just about to smash, too. 5 00:00:18,184 --> 00:00:19,583 - Y'all dudes from Devry High 6 00:00:19,585 --> 00:00:20,851 better stop taking all our beezys. 7 00:00:20,853 --> 00:00:24,855 - What can I say, ese? Hoes love drones, holmes. 8 00:00:24,857 --> 00:00:26,056 - Hey, man, fuck Devry. 9 00:00:26,058 --> 00:00:28,492 - Hey, fellas, it's election season. 10 00:00:28,494 --> 00:00:30,227 I hope I can count on your vote. 11 00:00:30,229 --> 00:00:31,929 - Fuck no. Last time I voted, 12 00:00:31,931 --> 00:00:35,199 Fantasia lost. - Well, all righty. 13 00:00:35,201 --> 00:00:36,400 all: 14 00:00:36,402 --> 00:00:38,302 - What kind of lame would want to run 15 00:00:38,304 --> 00:00:39,103 for Class President? 16 00:00:39,105 --> 00:00:40,638 You know he don't get no ass. 17 00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:42,406 - Hey, Craigery, love your feminist platform. 18 00:00:42,408 --> 00:00:45,476 It would be so awesome to have a women's history class. 19 00:00:45,478 --> 00:00:48,179 - I think we need women's lit, feminist science, 20 00:00:48,181 --> 00:00:50,514 And clam, Clitoris Awareness Month. 21 00:00:50,516 --> 00:00:53,717 - I'd love to hear more. We should do lunch. 22 00:00:53,719 --> 00:00:55,553 - Yo, homey, you need to make a move. 23 00:00:55,555 --> 00:00:57,221 President Skidmark 'bout to beat you 24 00:00:57,223 --> 00:00:59,323 to Cindy's ballot box. 25 00:00:59,925 --> 00:01:01,892 - Excuse me, everybody, I'd like to announce 26 00:01:01,894 --> 00:01:03,928 my candidacy for student body president. 27 00:01:03,930 --> 00:01:06,897 Vote for me for HNIC. 28 00:01:06,899 --> 00:01:08,065 Ya'll hear that? They love me. 29 00:01:08,067 --> 00:01:10,034 Your boy's going to be president real soon. 30 00:01:10,036 --> 00:01:13,938 Twerk, twerk, twerk, twerk! 31 00:01:13,940 --> 00:01:19,343 32 00:01:19,778 --> 00:01:21,645 - All right, peep game. If we going to do this 33 00:01:21,647 --> 00:01:23,781 lame ass debate, and stunt on these fools, 34 00:01:23,783 --> 00:01:24,682 our gear gots to be flossy. 35 00:01:24,684 --> 00:01:28,385 - I got flossy presidential attire marinating in the closet. 36 00:01:28,387 --> 00:01:31,555 - Aye, homey, breezys love all 50 shades of grey. 37 00:01:31,557 --> 00:01:33,491 - Actually, it's black. 38 00:01:33,493 --> 00:01:34,792 But I think I can rock this. 39 00:01:34,794 --> 00:01:36,660 - Yo, I'ma need that. Going to a funeral 40 00:01:36,662 --> 00:01:40,164 and you know I got to look better than a nigga in a coffin. 41 00:01:40,166 --> 00:01:42,132 - Who died? - Aye, yo, you remember 42 00:01:42,134 --> 00:01:43,033 my homey Big Thumper? 43 00:01:43,035 --> 00:01:45,503 Them honey buns and Cheetos done caught up with him. 44 00:01:45,505 --> 00:01:47,505 - Diabetes taking out our whole community. 45 00:01:47,507 --> 00:01:50,741 - Nah, man, OG Honey Buns and Hot Cheetos, 46 00:01:50,743 --> 00:01:51,575 they shot that nigga. 47 00:01:51,577 --> 00:01:53,544 You know his girl going to be mourning and shit, 48 00:01:53,546 --> 00:01:56,313 so 'Trely gonna slide her some of this grief dick. 49 00:01:56,315 --> 00:01:57,848 Anyway, fuck all of that, just let me 50 00:01:57,850 --> 00:01:59,250 hold that suit, nigga, damn. 51 00:01:59,252 --> 00:02:02,253 - Damn, that was my only suit. - Hey, we seriously need 52 00:02:02,255 --> 00:02:04,255 to get fitted because when you win, 53 00:02:04,257 --> 00:02:06,590 we get to throw our own inaugural ball. 54 00:02:06,592 --> 00:02:09,059 You do the work and we get the perks. 55 00:02:09,061 --> 00:02:10,995 - That's what the fuck I'm talking about. 56 00:02:10,997 --> 00:02:13,197 Our own party. Think of all the bad breezys 57 00:02:13,199 --> 00:02:14,865 we could get. - Yeah, and when Cindy 58 00:02:14,867 --> 00:02:16,700 sees me balling, you know my Air Force One 59 00:02:16,702 --> 00:02:19,670 in her mouth. - That's what I'm saying, homey. 60 00:02:19,672 --> 00:02:20,671 Let's get it. 61 00:02:20,673 --> 00:02:23,941 62 00:02:47,766 --> 00:02:51,001 - Aw, yeah! - Whoo, oh, oh, oh! 63 00:02:51,003 --> 00:02:51,869 - Damn, I look good. 64 00:02:51,871 --> 00:02:56,173 Ain't no way I'm losing this election. 65 00:02:56,908 --> 00:02:58,809 - Say, man, how long does it take 66 00:02:58,811 --> 00:03:01,312 to take a motherfuckin' assie? 67 00:03:02,381 --> 00:03:04,748 We stay fly, no lie 68 00:03:04,750 --> 00:03:09,253 we know this, inaugural balling! 69 00:03:09,255 --> 00:03:11,188 - Inaugural Balling Party? 70 00:03:11,190 --> 00:03:12,556 Since when are you into politics? 71 00:03:12,558 --> 00:03:14,658 - Since he thought he could get in that ass. 72 00:03:14,660 --> 00:03:15,326 both: 73 00:03:15,328 --> 00:03:16,594 - There's plenty you don't know about me, 74 00:03:16,596 --> 00:03:18,062 but don't trip, once I'm prez, 75 00:03:18,064 --> 00:03:20,831 I'm going to debrief myself, then debrief you. 76 00:03:20,833 --> 00:03:22,833 - You ain't debriefing nothing if you don't win 77 00:03:22,835 --> 00:03:25,803 that debate tomorrow. - Oh, I'll be president. 78 00:03:25,805 --> 00:03:26,870 Trust and believe. 79 00:03:26,872 --> 00:03:29,406 - And what makes you think you're going to win? 80 00:03:29,408 --> 00:03:30,274 - Ain't no way we losing 81 00:03:30,276 --> 00:03:32,276 to a mark ass nerd like you, mark. 82 00:03:32,278 --> 00:03:34,511 - Well the polls don't think I'm a mark. 83 00:03:34,513 --> 00:03:38,449 I belive you basketball players refer to this as a blow out. 84 00:03:38,451 --> 00:03:42,653 In your face. Boom shakalaka, bitch! 85 00:03:43,923 --> 00:03:46,323 Come on, Cindy. - You tell 'em, Craigery. 86 00:03:46,325 --> 00:03:48,325 - Damn, my nig, according to the polls, 87 00:03:48,327 --> 00:03:51,495 you're ahead of nobody and behind Deez Nutz. 88 00:03:51,497 --> 00:03:54,865 - That makes you an asshole, my dude. 89 00:03:58,503 --> 00:04:00,037 - Oregano, where you going? 90 00:04:00,039 --> 00:04:02,606 - I ain't Oregano no more. I'm Susan. 91 00:04:02,608 --> 00:04:06,410 I'm going to Devry High. - Ooh, I heard of Devry, 92 00:04:06,412 --> 00:04:08,812 but ain't you got to be able to read and write to go there? 93 00:04:08,814 --> 00:04:11,949 - That's what I thunk, but they'll learn you everything 94 00:04:11,951 --> 00:04:14,385 and now I can see my kids at night. 95 00:04:14,387 --> 00:04:16,687 - I would love to see my kids at night. 96 00:04:16,689 --> 00:04:19,023 - Then get your ass down to Devry High. 97 00:04:19,025 --> 00:04:23,360 They'll turn that golden shower into a golden parachute. 98 00:04:23,362 --> 00:04:26,330 - Devry High. See your kids at night. 99 00:04:26,332 --> 00:04:29,133 - These marks at Devry trying to do a hoe upgrade. 100 00:04:29,135 --> 00:04:30,200 - Shit, I ran for president 101 00:04:30,202 --> 00:04:32,002 to get some ass, not become one. 102 00:04:32,004 --> 00:04:33,470 Maybe I should quit. - Never that. 103 00:04:33,472 --> 00:04:35,372 We ain't no quitters, we legends. 104 00:04:35,374 --> 00:04:38,275 If we put our heads together and figure out a strategy, 105 00:04:38,277 --> 00:04:40,978 we going to get that come from behind vote. 106 00:04:40,980 --> 00:04:43,080 - What's this I hear about a certain negro 107 00:04:43,082 --> 00:04:43,814 running for office? 108 00:04:43,816 --> 00:04:45,082 - That's right, and when I win, 109 00:04:45,084 --> 00:04:46,617 you could be my First Little Bruh. 110 00:04:46,619 --> 00:04:48,285 - Well, let me be the first little brother 111 00:04:48,287 --> 00:04:49,620 to tell you that American politics 112 00:04:49,622 --> 00:04:51,755 is a game built on a foundation that's meant to keep 113 00:04:51,757 --> 00:04:54,158 the Black man down. - What about Barack O-beezy? 114 00:04:54,160 --> 00:04:56,927 - Obama knew the game. He did what populous politicians 115 00:04:56,929 --> 00:04:57,895 always do, tell the people 116 00:04:57,897 --> 00:04:59,630 what they want to hear to please everybody, 117 00:04:59,632 --> 00:05:01,031 then catch amnesia when they get elected. 118 00:05:01,033 --> 00:05:03,434 Negro, you think we're going to forget about tax reform 119 00:05:03,436 --> 00:05:05,302 just because you sang "Amazing Grace"? 120 00:05:05,304 --> 00:05:06,403 - Hey, Barry do got bars. 121 00:05:06,405 --> 00:05:08,806 - I just want to be president, throw a legendary party 122 00:05:08,808 --> 00:05:11,975 and see what the inside of Cindy's panties smell like. 123 00:05:11,977 --> 00:05:13,877 You guys are the reason 124 00:05:13,879 --> 00:05:16,280 they don't think Black lives matter. 125 00:05:16,748 --> 00:05:18,916 - I think we should have ottomans for the benchwarmers, 126 00:05:18,918 --> 00:05:22,219 Gatorade instead of Flavor Aid, and last but not least, 127 00:05:22,221 --> 00:05:23,787 baby wipes in the boy's locker room. 128 00:05:23,789 --> 00:05:25,556 - That's the dumbest shit I've ever heard. 129 00:05:25,558 --> 00:05:29,326 Everyone knows a real man lets his ass clean itself. 130 00:05:32,331 --> 00:05:32,996 - Next question. 131 00:05:32,998 --> 00:05:37,134 - So, Craigery, if I text my friend an answer to a test, 132 00:05:37,136 --> 00:05:37,901 is that cheating? 133 00:05:37,903 --> 00:05:39,069 - You know what's really cheating? 134 00:05:39,071 --> 00:05:42,439 Cheating women out of an opportunity to be heard, 135 00:05:42,441 --> 00:05:45,476 so I say text away, girlfriend. 136 00:05:46,712 --> 00:05:49,213 - Hey, he good. That boy real good. 137 00:05:49,215 --> 00:05:52,783 - Rochella, with the recent rise in band member assaults, 138 00:05:52,785 --> 00:05:54,184 what are you prepared to do 139 00:05:54,186 --> 00:05:57,354 to ensure these valuable artists are protected? 140 00:05:57,356 --> 00:06:00,224 - Well, the first thing I'ma do is this. 141 00:06:01,293 --> 00:06:02,926 You like that, huh? 142 00:06:02,928 --> 00:06:03,927 - Oh, Grove. 143 00:06:03,929 --> 00:06:05,562 Craigery got the vagina vote, 144 00:06:05,564 --> 00:06:07,097 Rochella got the dick vote, 145 00:06:07,099 --> 00:06:08,132 and Deez got the nut vote. 146 00:06:08,134 --> 00:06:10,634 If you lose this, there's no party. 147 00:06:10,636 --> 00:06:12,302 No party, no Cindy. 148 00:06:12,304 --> 00:06:15,272 - Milk's right. Okay, Grover, get it together. 149 00:06:15,274 --> 00:06:16,006 You're losing. 150 00:06:16,008 --> 00:06:17,841 Now, what was that smart shit Malik said? 151 00:06:17,843 --> 00:06:20,477 - I said you can't please everybody, negro. 152 00:06:20,479 --> 00:06:22,946 - That's it. Negro, please everybody. 153 00:06:22,948 --> 00:06:25,149 - No, that's not what I said, Grover. 154 00:06:25,151 --> 00:06:27,117 - No, that is what you said. I was there. 155 00:06:27,119 --> 00:06:29,720 - What are you doing? Grover. Grover. 156 00:06:29,722 --> 00:06:32,089 - Grover! Grover! 157 00:06:32,091 --> 00:06:32,756 - Huh? 158 00:06:32,758 --> 00:06:34,191 - Please answer the question. 159 00:06:34,193 --> 00:06:36,527 - Ms. Nobel, all of these questions is cool, 160 00:06:36,529 --> 00:06:38,929 but what the people really want to know is 161 00:06:38,931 --> 00:06:40,430 what can we do for them? 162 00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:43,100 - What you gon' do, Grover? 163 00:06:43,102 --> 00:06:43,834 - I'ma tell you. 164 00:06:43,836 --> 00:06:45,969 To my band members, you want to stop assaults? 165 00:06:45,971 --> 00:06:47,070 Shit, do it. 166 00:06:47,072 --> 00:06:48,305 You the ones holding the brass. 167 00:06:48,307 --> 00:06:50,207 Now beat somebody's ass. 168 00:06:54,547 --> 00:06:57,581 And to my lgbt efg lmnops, 169 00:06:57,583 --> 00:06:59,116 President Grover supports the rainbow. 170 00:06:59,118 --> 00:07:03,086 Skittles is my favorite fruit, and so are you. 171 00:07:03,088 --> 00:07:05,088 - Let me see your dick. 172 00:07:05,090 --> 00:07:07,825 - And to my lovely loose hoes over there, 173 00:07:07,827 --> 00:07:08,492 Grover got you. 174 00:07:08,494 --> 00:07:10,727 I'm bringing Planned Parenthood to the school. 175 00:07:10,729 --> 00:07:11,495 That's right. 176 00:07:11,497 --> 00:07:13,163 I'ma hold you down like a white cop 177 00:07:13,165 --> 00:07:14,965 at a black pool party. 178 00:07:17,336 --> 00:07:18,802 - That's why I fuck with him. 179 00:07:18,804 --> 00:07:20,737 - Girl, you fuck with everybody. 180 00:07:20,739 --> 00:07:22,539 - The point is, once I'm elected, 181 00:07:22,541 --> 00:07:24,374 I'ma be everybody's president. 182 00:07:24,376 --> 00:07:26,910 If you got a problem, I'll solve it. 183 00:07:26,912 --> 00:07:27,978 Ya heard? 184 00:07:29,882 --> 00:07:32,115 Who you know fresher than Grove? 185 00:07:32,117 --> 00:07:34,618 186 00:07:34,620 --> 00:07:35,385 - My boy is back. 187 00:07:35,387 --> 00:07:38,222 We about to get some throats pregnant. 188 00:07:40,825 --> 00:07:41,758 - You the man, Grover! 189 00:07:41,760 --> 00:07:42,693 - Hey, Mr. President. 190 00:07:42,695 --> 00:07:45,195 - I could get used to this presidential motorcade, 191 00:07:45,197 --> 00:07:46,196 my dudes. 192 00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:51,134 Jamal, if you finna keep co-heading my secret swervice, 193 00:07:51,136 --> 00:07:52,636 you need to step it up. 194 00:07:52,638 --> 00:07:53,871 - But my dogs is howling. 195 00:07:53,873 --> 00:07:56,406 What say we half-step it a beat, my nigs? 196 00:07:56,408 --> 00:07:57,441 - Aye, how come we can't get 197 00:07:57,443 --> 00:08:00,944 no alternative forms of transportation in this bitch? 198 00:08:00,946 --> 00:08:02,079 Some Heelys or something. 199 00:08:02,081 --> 00:08:03,180 - If we all ridin' presidential, 200 00:08:03,182 --> 00:08:05,349 how they gon' know I'm more important than y'all? 201 00:08:05,351 --> 00:08:09,553 Now I need y'all to watch my back. 202 00:08:09,555 --> 00:08:10,554 - Ah, my dude. 203 00:08:10,556 --> 00:08:12,956 - And my front. Thanks, dawg. 204 00:08:12,958 --> 00:08:15,859 - I don't know if doing all this ass kissing 205 00:08:15,861 --> 00:08:18,262 just to go to a party is worth it. 206 00:08:19,031 --> 00:08:20,063 - You blasphemizing, Jamal. 207 00:08:20,065 --> 00:08:23,901 Partying with potential ass is always worth it. 208 00:08:23,903 --> 00:08:25,135 - Look, it's Sloppy Jose day, 209 00:08:25,137 --> 00:08:28,872 so you know them ESL marks be flocking like cucarachas. 210 00:08:28,874 --> 00:08:30,474 - A little sensitivity, my dudes. 211 00:08:30,476 --> 00:08:33,110 Those cucarachas all vote. 212 00:08:33,112 --> 00:08:35,178 Good to see you. Hola. Hola. 213 00:08:35,180 --> 00:08:37,214 Konichiwa. "Amistad." 214 00:08:37,216 --> 00:08:37,981 Mind if I jump in? 215 00:08:37,983 --> 00:08:41,118 I can't work as hard for y'all on an empty stomach. 216 00:08:41,120 --> 00:08:41,985 - Yo, that was ballin'. 217 00:08:41,987 --> 00:08:43,954 - You can't be eating with the president. 218 00:08:43,956 --> 00:08:44,721 - Why not? 219 00:08:44,723 --> 00:08:45,589 - 'Cause if you eating, 220 00:08:45,591 --> 00:08:47,925 who gonna be watching the presidential backside? 221 00:08:47,927 --> 00:08:49,593 - This nigga. 222 00:08:49,595 --> 00:08:50,627 - Okay, you know the drill. 223 00:08:50,629 --> 00:08:53,897 When you're done, place the Scantron on my desk. 224 00:08:53,899 --> 00:08:55,432 Then you can leave or stay. 225 00:08:55,434 --> 00:08:59,269 I--I don't... I don't give a... 226 00:08:59,271 --> 00:08:59,937 - Oh, shit. 227 00:08:59,939 --> 00:09:01,872 Ms. Noble just gave me the answer to the test. 228 00:09:01,874 --> 00:09:02,839 - Say what, my nig? 229 00:09:02,841 --> 00:09:03,707 - I'm the president. 230 00:09:03,709 --> 00:09:06,043 You think they'd let me fail a history test? 231 00:09:06,045 --> 00:09:06,777 - Aye, real talk. 232 00:09:06,779 --> 00:09:07,744 That's gangsterer than a mug. 233 00:09:07,746 --> 00:09:11,915 - Yep, these presidential perks ain't nothin' to fuck with. 234 00:09:11,917 --> 00:09:13,784 We all finna get them As. 235 00:09:13,786 --> 00:09:14,451 Hey. 236 00:09:14,453 --> 00:09:15,385 - Aye, fall back, Jamal. 237 00:09:15,387 --> 00:09:17,054 - Say what again, my nig? 238 00:09:17,056 --> 00:09:18,322 - This is classified information, 239 00:09:18,324 --> 00:09:20,424 and I ain't trying to get caught up in no scandal, 240 00:09:20,426 --> 00:09:22,225 unless it's with Kerry Washington. 241 00:09:22,227 --> 00:09:26,363 Feels so good to be me, the hnic. 242 00:09:26,365 --> 00:09:29,666 - Dis nigga. 243 00:09:29,668 --> 00:09:30,400 - Fuck it then. 244 00:09:30,402 --> 00:09:31,335 I'm just finna keep it hood, 245 00:09:31,337 --> 00:09:35,939 and alternate between these Bs and Cs. 246 00:09:37,075 --> 00:09:39,309 - Put some club sodas on that and rub it gently, 247 00:09:39,311 --> 00:09:41,545 okay, my little Monica Boo-inskys? 248 00:09:41,547 --> 00:09:43,447 - Thanks again, Mr. President. 249 00:09:43,449 --> 00:09:46,984 - What's going on, my n--uh, fellow Americans? 250 00:09:46,986 --> 00:09:47,617 - You tell us. 251 00:09:47,619 --> 00:09:49,753 I know you didn't just experience that trilogy 252 00:09:49,755 --> 00:09:50,454 without your boys. 253 00:09:50,456 --> 00:09:52,255 - Yeah, you coulda at least let us watch. 254 00:09:52,257 --> 00:09:53,890 You old, greedy-ass filibuster. 255 00:09:53,892 --> 00:09:56,460 - This was official presidential business. 256 00:09:56,462 --> 00:09:57,227 Politics as usual. 257 00:09:57,229 --> 00:09:58,862 - You letting this shit go to your head, Grove. 258 00:09:58,864 --> 00:10:02,199 You forgetting about the people who got you here, my nig. 259 00:10:02,201 --> 00:10:02,733 Ow! 260 00:10:02,735 --> 00:10:03,667 - I can't believe this, man. 261 00:10:03,669 --> 00:10:05,402 You gonna big-time us like you LeBron 262 00:10:05,404 --> 00:10:08,038 and we ain't nothing but some Dellavedovas? 263 00:10:08,040 --> 00:10:08,972 Is this where we at? 264 00:10:08,974 --> 00:10:10,540 - Somebody got to get the loose balls. 265 00:10:10,542 --> 00:10:12,476 - I got some loose balls for you, homey. 266 00:10:12,478 --> 00:10:13,443 - Look, we getting off track. 267 00:10:13,445 --> 00:10:15,379 The people on my dick, why ain't y'all? 268 00:10:15,381 --> 00:10:17,381 - 'Cause we ain't no dick riders. 269 00:10:17,383 --> 00:10:18,315 - Aye, you playing yourself 270 00:10:18,317 --> 00:10:19,950 if you think we gon' play that part. 271 00:10:19,952 --> 00:10:20,617 We quits. 272 00:10:20,619 --> 00:10:24,554 - Yeah, you can ride your own dick. 273 00:10:27,793 --> 00:10:29,493 - Mr. President, Cindy's here to see you 274 00:10:29,495 --> 00:10:32,796 and she smells like she' not wearing panties. 275 00:10:32,798 --> 00:10:34,031 - Cindy? Hold on. 276 00:10:34,033 --> 00:10:35,332 Just give me a second here. 277 00:10:37,669 --> 00:10:39,302 Send her in. 278 00:10:39,304 --> 00:10:40,103 - Mr. President? Ew. 279 00:10:40,105 --> 00:10:42,506 - What's Gucci, boo? How can I service you? 280 00:10:42,508 --> 00:10:44,341 - Why you in your little brother's drawls? 281 00:10:44,343 --> 00:10:45,208 - The real question is, 282 00:10:45,210 --> 00:10:47,110 why aren't you in my little brother's drawls? 283 00:10:47,112 --> 00:10:48,779 - I ain't got time for your foolishness. 284 00:10:48,781 --> 00:10:50,981 Have you considered our Cliterature Studies proposal? 285 00:10:50,983 --> 00:10:53,817 - Naw, sorry. I ain't got time for that. 286 00:10:53,819 --> 00:10:54,551 As you can see, 287 00:10:54,553 --> 00:10:55,852 I'm still trying to figure out what to wear 288 00:10:55,854 --> 00:10:57,687 to my inaugural Ballin' Ball. 289 00:10:57,689 --> 00:10:59,256 What's more presidential? 290 00:10:59,258 --> 00:11:00,524 Orange or tangerine? 291 00:11:00,526 --> 00:11:02,392 - You didn't get elected to party. 292 00:11:02,394 --> 00:11:04,694 I thought you was different, Grover. 293 00:11:04,696 --> 00:11:05,462 - All right, fine. 294 00:11:05,464 --> 00:11:09,032 I'll go to student council and take care of it. 295 00:11:12,404 --> 00:11:14,337 - So you want Cliterature Studies, 296 00:11:14,339 --> 00:11:16,640 trench coats and guns for the goths, 297 00:11:16,642 --> 00:11:18,075 abortions for the whores, 298 00:11:18,077 --> 00:11:19,743 and you want a fundraiser 299 00:11:19,745 --> 00:11:22,345 to find out who killed Big Pun? 300 00:11:22,347 --> 00:11:24,014 - Inquiring nigs want to know. 301 00:11:24,016 --> 00:11:27,417 - Brah, everybody knows it was Little Debbie. 302 00:11:27,419 --> 00:11:27,951 Denied. 303 00:11:27,953 --> 00:11:30,153 - Damn, I can't make good on any of my promises. 304 00:11:30,155 --> 00:11:33,123 Last time I checked, I was the president around this bitch. 305 00:11:33,125 --> 00:11:36,259 - The student body president has very little power. 306 00:11:36,261 --> 00:11:39,796 He's like an executive producer of his first TV show. 307 00:11:39,798 --> 00:11:42,666 It's just a title they have to give him, really. 308 00:11:42,668 --> 00:11:43,834 Nobody expects much from him. 309 00:11:43,836 --> 00:11:47,471 - Word on the street is Cindy's been coming by your office. 310 00:11:47,473 --> 00:11:48,171 Is that true? 311 00:11:48,173 --> 00:11:50,440 - Yep, she also been coming inside my office. 312 00:11:50,442 --> 00:11:51,608 - What the fuck did you just say? 313 00:11:51,610 --> 00:11:53,844 - All I'm saying is, I'm not just president. 314 00:11:53,846 --> 00:11:56,246 I'm also the secretary of her interior. 315 00:11:56,248 --> 00:11:57,948 - You son of a bitch. 316 00:11:57,950 --> 00:11:58,915 - Man, this is some ridiculous 317 00:11:58,917 --> 00:12:00,117 punk-ass bullsnip right here, Randy. 318 00:12:00,119 --> 00:12:01,384 You gonna go just let him get away with? 319 00:12:01,386 --> 00:12:03,954 - The shit crew ain't gettin' away with shit. 320 00:12:03,956 --> 00:12:07,858 - Our next order of business, the phantom shitter is back. 321 00:12:07,860 --> 00:12:11,928 - What? Aw, hell naw! 322 00:12:11,930 --> 00:12:14,131 - Aye, what happened to our Mexican history month, ese? 323 00:12:14,133 --> 00:12:17,501 Showing "La Bamba" on Cinco de Mayo doesn't cut it. 324 00:12:17,503 --> 00:12:21,805 - Look what happened when I fought back, Mr. President. 325 00:12:21,807 --> 00:12:22,539 Fuck you. 326 00:12:22,541 --> 00:12:24,975 - You promised you'd get me out of here. 327 00:12:24,977 --> 00:12:26,009 I miss my kids. 328 00:12:26,011 --> 00:12:28,812 - Oh, God, I hope that was pudding. 329 00:12:28,814 --> 00:12:29,446 - Aw, hell no. 330 00:12:29,448 --> 00:12:31,515 Whatever it is, I ain't cleaning it up. 331 00:12:31,517 --> 00:12:35,752 - You still go'' fix this titty, right? 332 00:12:35,754 --> 00:12:36,820 - What you lookin' at, trick? 333 00:12:36,822 --> 00:12:39,523 - I'm looking at a bunch of haters, bitch. 334 00:12:45,464 --> 00:12:47,697 - I'm still the president. 335 00:12:47,699 --> 00:12:50,934 - Aye, you know that's not pudding on your face, right? 336 00:12:50,936 --> 00:12:53,170 - So he broke a promise to you too, huh? 337 00:12:53,172 --> 00:12:53,837 Don't worry. 338 00:12:53,839 --> 00:12:56,840 Tomorrow we're gonna holler at him from the grassy knoll, 339 00:12:56,842 --> 00:12:57,874 if you know what I mean. 340 00:12:57,876 --> 00:13:00,877 - Yeah, no. I--I don't know what he means. 341 00:13:00,879 --> 00:13:03,413 - They plannin' on Steve Harvey Oswalding our boy. 342 00:13:03,415 --> 00:13:05,949 - They're gonna let him host Miss Universe 343 00:13:05,951 --> 00:13:07,417 and he's gonna fuck it up? 344 00:13:07,419 --> 00:13:08,318 - No, fat boy. 345 00:13:08,320 --> 00:13:11,354 They finsta kill him. 346 00:13:11,356 --> 00:13:14,057 - Oh, lookie here. It's the cast of "Scrubs." 347 00:13:14,059 --> 00:13:15,859 - "Scrubs?" Man, fuck Donald Faison. 348 00:13:15,861 --> 00:13:18,461 Anyway, we need some radical negro knowledge. 349 00:13:18,463 --> 00:13:20,330 - Let me guess, Grover was elected president, 350 00:13:20,332 --> 00:13:21,898 made a bunch of promises he couldn't keep, 351 00:13:21,900 --> 00:13:24,701 and now the chickens have come home to roost, am I right? 352 00:13:24,703 --> 00:13:25,735 - He didn't roast no chickens, 353 00:13:25,737 --> 00:13:28,171 but yeah, the rest of that shit's pretty accurate. 354 00:13:28,173 --> 00:13:31,374 - Yeah, and we don't want to see nothing happen to our dude. 355 00:13:31,376 --> 00:13:32,309 Tell us what to do, Malik. 356 00:13:32,311 --> 00:13:35,178 - You negroes and Milk base your lives on hope, 357 00:13:35,180 --> 00:13:36,846 so you better start hoping something comes along 358 00:13:36,848 --> 00:13:38,782 to distract the people from the real issues, 359 00:13:38,784 --> 00:13:41,318 like the way everybody was hating on Bush, 360 00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:42,552 then boom, 9/11. 361 00:13:42,554 --> 00:13:44,120 He went from ashy to classy. 362 00:13:44,122 --> 00:13:46,756 Now unless your white boy want to get this work, 363 00:13:46,758 --> 00:13:48,491 y'all need to kick rocks. 364 00:13:48,493 --> 00:13:50,927 - He may be acting like a dick, but that's our homey. 365 00:13:50,929 --> 00:13:53,763 We can't just stand around and watch him get murked. 366 00:13:53,765 --> 00:13:55,899 - Aye, Malik did give us some good advice. 367 00:13:55,901 --> 00:13:56,733 What'd he say again? 368 00:13:56,735 --> 00:13:59,803 - There's nothing you can do, but 9/11. 369 00:13:59,805 --> 00:14:01,638 Boom! Boom! 370 00:14:01,640 --> 00:14:02,439 Boom! 371 00:14:02,441 --> 00:14:04,107 - Boom, bitch. That's it. 372 00:14:04,109 --> 00:14:05,275 We need a distraction. 373 00:14:05,277 --> 00:14:06,776 - A tu-sami would be dope. 374 00:14:06,778 --> 00:14:08,078 - Stupid, we can't have no tsunami 375 00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:10,213 without having a Chinese earthquake first, 376 00:14:10,215 --> 00:14:12,182 and that shit would take way too long. 377 00:14:12,184 --> 00:14:13,283 - 'Tis true. 'Tis true. 378 00:14:13,285 --> 00:14:16,119 - I got an idea, and it's got Devry written all over it. 379 00:14:16,121 --> 00:14:20,690 We still owe them for gankin' our hoes. 380 00:14:20,692 --> 00:14:21,491 Man, look at this dude. 381 00:14:21,493 --> 00:14:23,426 This is the saddest shit I ever seen. 382 00:14:23,428 --> 00:14:26,963 - You suck, old bitch-ass president. 383 00:14:26,965 --> 00:14:28,698 - Yo, how Operation Armageddon going? 384 00:14:28,700 --> 00:14:31,101 - I told you. It's Operation Condor. 385 00:14:31,103 --> 00:14:34,170 - Why you always get to name the operations, homey? 386 00:14:34,172 --> 00:14:35,672 Fuck all that. We good? 387 00:14:35,674 --> 00:14:37,440 - All systems is go. 388 00:14:37,442 --> 00:14:41,444 In three, two, one. 389 00:14:48,186 --> 00:14:53,890 - Mr. President, blah, blah, blah, we're under attack. 390 00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:03,400 - That's not gon' work. 391 00:15:03,402 --> 00:15:06,436 "I hereby resign from this bitch." 392 00:15:06,438 --> 00:15:07,137 Perfect. 393 00:15:07,139 --> 00:15:08,038 - You all right, my dude? 394 00:15:08,040 --> 00:15:09,372 - Yeah, we heard what happened. 395 00:15:09,374 --> 00:15:10,740 - Not my problem now. 396 00:15:10,742 --> 00:15:11,875 I just resigned. 397 00:15:11,877 --> 00:15:12,475 - Resigned? 398 00:15:12,477 --> 00:15:13,810 You this close to Cindy giving you some disaster ass 399 00:15:13,812 --> 00:15:17,013 and me and Jamal was gon' do some collateral smashing too, 400 00:15:17,015 --> 00:15:17,814 and you want to resign? 401 00:15:17,816 --> 00:15:20,150 - Yeah, this your time to shine, my nig. 402 00:15:20,152 --> 00:15:25,555 - Shine? All I see is a bunch of shade. 403 00:15:25,557 --> 00:15:26,623 Y'all don't care anyway. 404 00:15:26,625 --> 00:15:27,691 - We care like a motherfucker. 405 00:15:27,693 --> 00:15:31,127 I ain't steal $400 from Uncle Joey's bitch ass for nothing. 406 00:15:31,129 --> 00:15:32,028 - What you talking about? 407 00:15:32,030 --> 00:15:33,596 - Well, we wanted to do a tu-sami 408 00:15:33,598 --> 00:15:36,166 but a drone was a whole lot economicaler. 409 00:15:36,168 --> 00:15:37,334 - Wait a minute, y'all was the ones 410 00:15:37,336 --> 00:15:39,336 who flew the drone into Michael Clarke Duncan's mouth? 411 00:15:39,338 --> 00:15:43,373 - I ain't no snitch, but yeah, they was gon' murk you, homey. 412 00:15:43,375 --> 00:15:44,140 But we did it for you. 413 00:15:44,142 --> 00:15:47,210 - You was finna get dealt with, so we caused a distraction. 414 00:15:47,212 --> 00:15:49,579 - By any means mecessary, my nig. 415 00:15:49,581 --> 00:15:50,046 Ow! 416 00:15:50,048 --> 00:15:51,481 - Man, you did all of that for me? 417 00:15:51,483 --> 00:15:53,817 That's why y'all my nigs. 418 00:15:53,819 --> 00:15:56,653 So what's the plan now? 419 00:15:56,655 --> 00:15:57,153 - Um.. 420 00:15:57,155 --> 00:15:58,988 - Um, we didn't think that far ahead. 421 00:15:58,990 --> 00:16:01,491 - So you just gon' fly a drone into a statue 422 00:16:01,493 --> 00:16:02,359 and not have a plan? 423 00:16:02,361 --> 00:16:04,561 - Look, man, we got the damn drone. 424 00:16:04,563 --> 00:16:05,395 We saved your ass. 425 00:16:05,397 --> 00:16:06,629 - You didn't save my ass. 426 00:16:06,631 --> 00:16:07,564 You created a bigger mess. 427 00:16:07,566 --> 00:16:10,834 - You ungrateful motherfucker. 428 00:16:14,072 --> 00:16:14,938 - You know what? Get out. 429 00:16:14,940 --> 00:16:17,374 The president needs a moment to himself. 430 00:16:17,376 --> 00:16:19,175 - Dis nigga. 431 00:16:19,177 --> 00:16:21,010 - Damn, I'm a failure. 432 00:16:21,012 --> 00:16:22,679 - You not a failure, boss. 433 00:16:22,681 --> 00:16:24,214 - Michael Clarke Duncan? 434 00:16:24,216 --> 00:16:24,981 - Yeah, it's me. 435 00:16:24,983 --> 00:16:26,716 I usually help white people with they problems. 436 00:16:26,718 --> 00:16:27,884 They don't think about me no more, 437 00:16:27,886 --> 00:16:30,120 so I'm here to help you, little chocolate boy. 438 00:16:30,122 --> 00:16:32,956 All's I needs you to do is believes in yourself. 439 00:16:32,958 --> 00:16:35,558 I's never actually said that to a black person before. 440 00:16:35,560 --> 00:16:38,828 - Michael Clarke Duncan, why you talking like a slave? 441 00:16:38,830 --> 00:16:39,629 - 'Cause I is. 442 00:16:39,631 --> 00:16:42,599 In heaven, I keeps the clouds nice and soft. 443 00:16:42,601 --> 00:16:45,168 Not as many white people up here as I thought, through. 444 00:16:45,170 --> 00:16:47,470 - So all I got to do is believe in myself? 445 00:16:47,472 --> 00:16:49,305 - That's hows it works in the movies. 446 00:16:49,307 --> 00:16:50,907 A black man says something wise, 447 00:16:50,909 --> 00:16:52,475 and then a white writer gets the statue. 448 00:16:52,477 --> 00:16:54,677 Almost happened in "Straight Outta Compton." 449 00:16:54,679 --> 00:16:57,380 Now go out there and tells them the truth. 450 00:16:57,382 --> 00:16:58,481 - I'll do it. 451 00:16:58,483 --> 00:16:59,149 - Good job, son. 452 00:16:59,151 --> 00:17:01,518 And just remember, Omarosa killed me. 453 00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:04,621 She stabbed me in my pancreas with an icicles. 454 00:17:04,623 --> 00:17:06,423 An icicles. 455 00:17:08,427 --> 00:17:10,427 - What the hell are you doing here? 456 00:17:10,429 --> 00:17:11,294 - You don't understand. 457 00:17:11,296 --> 00:17:13,363 I can't let Michael Clarke Duncan down. 458 00:17:13,365 --> 00:17:17,133 My fellow students, today is a sad day at Duncan High. 459 00:17:17,135 --> 00:17:18,935 Lovers of hate attacked our school. 460 00:17:18,937 --> 00:17:20,970 - Oh, to hell with that speech, motherfucker. 461 00:17:20,972 --> 00:17:23,873 What is you gon' do about Devry? 462 00:17:25,944 --> 00:17:27,477 - Sells it, Grover. 463 00:17:27,479 --> 00:17:29,979 - This is a day when we as Duncan High 464 00:17:29,981 --> 00:17:32,449 will unite in the name of freedom. 465 00:17:32,451 --> 00:17:36,686 We was attacked because of our spirit and our swag. 466 00:17:38,757 --> 00:17:40,390 They mad 'cause we be stuntin', 467 00:17:40,392 --> 00:17:43,059 and our females is bangable. 468 00:17:43,795 --> 00:17:47,197 If Devry High thinks that they can get away with this, 469 00:17:47,199 --> 00:17:48,698 they haven't seen shit yet. 470 00:17:48,700 --> 00:17:50,433 This is Michael Clarke Duncan High! 471 00:17:50,435 --> 00:17:52,035 The same Michael Clarke Duncan 472 00:17:52,037 --> 00:17:52,836 who could cry on command 473 00:17:52,838 --> 00:17:55,004 and help Bruce Willis destroy an asteroid. 474 00:17:55,006 --> 00:17:57,941 Who kept the grill going during Roscoe's family reunion 475 00:17:57,943 --> 00:18:00,109 and went toe-to-toe with Ben Affleck in "Daredevil." 476 00:18:00,111 --> 00:18:02,846 He went from being a part of Uncle Luke's entourage 477 00:18:02,848 --> 00:18:04,481 to fixing Tom Hanks's dick. 478 00:18:04,483 --> 00:18:07,183 If folks wanna pop off, then let's pop off. 479 00:18:07,185 --> 00:18:09,919 Devry ain't got no love for Michael Clarke Duncan? 480 00:18:09,921 --> 00:18:11,788 Well, let it be known then! 481 00:18:20,332 --> 00:18:23,900 - I think the party's back on. 482 00:18:23,902 --> 00:18:24,567 - What the fuck! 483 00:18:24,569 --> 00:18:25,768 There's something fishy, Mumblemouth. 484 00:18:25,770 --> 00:18:27,637 - It's probably Cindy. Randy know what she need to do. 485 00:18:27,639 --> 00:18:30,173 She could use some Summer's Eve. 486 00:18:30,175 --> 00:18:30,940 - No. 487 00:18:30,942 --> 00:18:31,908 - Come on, Ms. Noble. 488 00:18:31,910 --> 00:18:32,809 All we need is a few gats 489 00:18:32,811 --> 00:18:35,245 and we can go to war on these fools. 490 00:18:35,247 --> 00:18:35,812 - No. 491 00:18:35,814 --> 00:18:37,814 - We can't go out like no punk bitches. 492 00:18:37,816 --> 00:18:39,415 Today, it was our statue. 493 00:18:39,417 --> 00:18:40,817 What will it be tomorrow? 494 00:18:40,819 --> 00:18:41,951 Our school buses? 495 00:18:41,953 --> 00:18:42,719 Our cheerleaders? 496 00:18:42,721 --> 00:18:45,421 A cyber attack to take away the teachers' pensions? 497 00:18:46,057 --> 00:18:50,627 - You can take my pension from my cold, dead fingers. 498 00:18:50,629 --> 00:18:54,531 I don't care how many of you have to die. 499 00:18:54,533 --> 00:18:56,399 We're going to war! 500 00:18:56,401 --> 00:18:57,467 - Whoa whoa whoa whoa! 501 00:18:57,469 --> 00:18:59,602 Stop the presses! 502 00:18:59,604 --> 00:19:00,603 It was all fake. 503 00:19:00,605 --> 00:19:03,273 Devry High School did not try to attack us. 504 00:19:03,275 --> 00:19:06,743 Grover here is trying to pull a Donald Rumsfeld! 505 00:19:06,745 --> 00:19:08,545 - Lies! They all lies! 506 00:19:08,547 --> 00:19:09,512 Yo, who's Donald Rumsfeld? 507 00:19:09,514 --> 00:19:12,048 - I think that's the dude that used to own the Clippers. 508 00:19:12,050 --> 00:19:16,019 - I got the black box from the drone. 509 00:19:16,021 --> 00:19:17,787 Check it out. 510 00:19:17,789 --> 00:19:20,557 - You think this'll fuck up that statue? 511 00:19:20,559 --> 00:19:21,190 - Hell yeah. 512 00:19:21,192 --> 00:19:22,859 And won't nobody know we did it. 513 00:19:22,861 --> 00:19:24,861 Aye, how you spell Devry? 514 00:19:24,863 --> 00:19:26,629 Yo, they got us, Grove. 515 00:19:26,631 --> 00:19:27,564 - Us? 516 00:19:27,566 --> 00:19:28,197 - Grover! 517 00:19:28,199 --> 00:19:31,601 - You were about to send us to war under false pretenses? 518 00:19:31,603 --> 00:19:35,872 What do you have to say for yourself? 519 00:19:42,479 --> 00:19:45,548 520 00:19:46,151 --> 00:19:48,718 - Good lookin' out on the presidential pardon, Grover. 521 00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:49,552 - You got it, my dude. 522 00:19:49,554 --> 00:19:52,722 - Yeah, detention was tryin' to incarcerate my black ass 523 00:19:52,724 --> 00:19:53,356 for two weeks. 524 00:19:53,358 --> 00:19:56,059 - I'm just glad this whole president thing is over. 525 00:19:56,061 --> 00:19:56,926 - Aww, yeah. 526 00:19:56,928 --> 00:20:01,030 Operation Bust a Nut is back in effect. 527 00:20:01,032 --> 00:20:02,999 - Where do you think y'all goin'? 528 00:20:03,001 --> 00:20:04,834 - We goin' to the inaugural ball. 529 00:20:04,836 --> 00:20:06,769 - After that shit y'all did? 530 00:20:06,771 --> 00:20:09,706 You're on the "no longer fly" list. 531 00:20:09,708 --> 00:20:11,107 - Hold up! This is our party. 532 00:20:11,109 --> 00:20:13,409 - Yeah, and you did a good job. 533 00:20:13,411 --> 00:20:14,611 It's turned up in there. 534 00:20:14,613 --> 00:20:17,313 Greatest party I've ever seen. 535 00:20:17,315 --> 00:20:19,449 Man, Craigery gonna be a legend. 536 00:20:19,451 --> 00:20:23,753 - If y'all hurry home, maybe someone's Periscoping. 537 00:20:30,161 --> 00:20:31,828 - Damn, even the drone's smashing. 538 00:20:31,830 --> 00:20:33,429 - You know what, it doesn't matter. 539 00:20:33,431 --> 00:20:35,064 When I needed you guys, you had my back. 540 00:20:35,066 --> 00:20:37,900 The school, local law enforcement, and the FBI 541 00:20:37,902 --> 00:20:39,002 may see you as terrorists, 542 00:20:39,004 --> 00:20:40,570 but you're more than that to me. 543 00:20:40,572 --> 00:20:41,604 You're care-orists. 544 00:20:41,606 --> 00:20:44,841 - Well, before we start sucking each other's dicks, 545 00:20:44,843 --> 00:20:47,477 y'all wanna know a secret? 546 00:20:47,479 --> 00:20:49,379 I'm the phantom shitter. 547 00:20:49,381 --> 00:20:50,413 - Aw, hell no! 548 00:20:50,415 --> 00:20:51,881 Not the trophy! 549 00:21:03,027 --> 00:21:04,727 Twerk, twerk, twerk, twerk, 550 00:21:04,729 --> 00:21:13,870 twerk, twerk, twerk, twerk, 551 00:21:13,872 --> 00:21:17,507 twerk, twerk, twerk, twerk, twerk, twerk!